As the days count down to my departure I am aware of the people in my life who I will miss the most while I am away. Stemming away from my self absorbed youth, it seems I am in some terrifying transition phase from childhood to, dare I say, some form of maturity.
As it turns out, crawling out of one’s own ass can be a frightening and isolating experience. For so long, my goal was to flee the mundane and experience as much of the world as I could. With the horizon as my objective, the dynamic composition of people who would help me get there were often lost in the chaos of my dusty take off. Now, with my departure weeks away, I see the people in my life as the pillars of support that they have been for me all along.
This is a natural step in the progression from childhood to adult life. The processes of aging and maturation is a growing phase in which the flow of attention begins to course in more equal measure from an individual to his community, and back.
I am an only child, not some inspired human being with an arcane knowledge of the human brain. From my recent epiphany I have discovered that people are what make the world go round. My parents are the coolest people I know, my family is so much more than just a collection of framed faces around my house, and my friends were the only reason that I lived through university. I have been bulldozing my way through life trying to become something but didn’t realize that to be something, you have to be something to somebody.
My family and friends are the rooms of my house and the streets of my community, they are the memories from my past, and they are the smells and sounds of my present. Without the people who I know there would be no context, no perspective, no association for myself to rely upon. As I begin to foster and nurture these relationships, the more range and depth they bring to my world.
Caring for people is hard. Putting someone before yourself requires confidence in your own independence. Allowing others to have importance and significance in your life calls for you to be vulnerable in accepting that you need them. Showing that you love someone leaves you open for rejection and embarrassment. It is this exchange of our most human insecurities that brings us closer to one another and our community.
There is still a lot of value in “looking out for number one”. Taking care of myself is the first step in being a part of a supportive community… but at the end of the day, one is a pretty lonely number without all the rest.”