This Valentines day, instead of bitching about how single I am, or bragging about how happy I am alone. I am going to express how thankful I am for the beautiful relationship that I just had. Tomorrow, on Valentines Day, my ex-girlfriend and I are going on a fun date. We didn’t actually plan it this way, it was just the day that worked best for both of us to meet… But in a coincidental way, I’m glad it did. Let me explain myself…
My ex-girlfriend and I’s relationship was oddly mature. We lived together after 1 year of dating, spent 24 hours a day together going to the same classes for the next two years, and after three years we broke up harmoniously, and actually still like one another. It was a relationship with abnormal chemistry, but abnormal circumstances gave our time together an even greater significance.
The idea of “love”, in the glorified sense, was torn away from us very early in the relationship. The valiant shows of affection and surface level gift-giving was lost when I suffered my first cardiac arrest, 6 months after our first date. Our relationship took a purposeful step in that moment, and she decided to stay. Amongst the enormous amount of pressure from this emotional trauma she stuck by my side. She became a part of my family as the truest friend I have ever had, enduring the next 2 years of my recovery with me in the apartment we shared. In this time I suffered from depression and drug use, I temporarily withdrew from school, and repeatedly landed myself back in the hospital.
Even though we were only 18 years old, our relationship was based around support, and nurturing. Helping one another through the hard times and appreciating one another’s company through the good. My medical issues were my own and only I had the capability to address them, but to have the presence of a loving and caring friend at my side throughout the process leaves me unspeakably grateful.
We broke up, not because our feelings for one another had changed, but because our goals and ambitions simply took us in different directions. In the face of change our intimate knowledge and respect of each others needs allowed us to let one another go seamlessly. The maintenance of individuality throughout our relationship left us very much in love with one another, but respectfully separated.
Relationships are founded on romantic chemistry, but they grow and enrich through friendship. Taking delight in the simple joys, toughing out the struggles, laughing, and finding common ground together through life’s voyage. When thinking about your relationship today, or perhaps your lack there of, remember than your boyfriend or girlfriend should basically be a teammate or a best friend… that you also happen to sleep with.
Happy Valentines Everyone.